In this series, individuals living in Concord, NH share stories from their experiences with homelessness.. These articles have been lightly edited. Names have been changed to protect privacy.
It’s hard to have a social life when you’re homeless. I was embarrassed and ashamed about what happened to me. All I did was get laid off and I couldn’t get new employment fast enough. That led me to becoming homeless. I stayed with some friends on their couch for a while until they got evicted for reasons unknown to me. Afterwards, I isolated myself and hid myself away, avoiding my friends until those relationships faded away. I had always been independent, and perhaps pretty stubborn. What kind of friend could I be with no money, no possessions, no job?
It was tough to get clean laundry and a shower. I could only fit so many items of clothing into my backpack, and often I had to wear the same thing for days on end. Body odor was a big problem as a result. On the rare occasion I did get a chance to shower, oftentimes I had to put on the same dirty clothes I had on beforehand. The stinky socks were the worst part.
Who wants the burden of being friends with someone like that? I didn’t have a phone to reach out to anyone, and I suppose people must have thought I was dead or something. I just disappeared. Any kind of visit would have been uncomfortable for everyone involved. I didn’t need a pity-party and I certainly didn’t want to be a burden. I had lost everything I had worked for and my severely bruised pride was all I had left.
With no address, getting a job was tough too. Local businesses are familiar with the address as the [Concord Coalition to End Homelessness] Resource Center, and the application goes to the bottom of the pile. Eventually I landed a job. However, the shift was early in the morning and I couldn’t go to the Resource Center to get a shower or do my laundry [before my shift]. I had to go to work wearing the same clothes and no shower. Before I was able to receive a proper paycheck to take care of those things I was “let go” due to hygiene issues.
At least I was able to get a shower and some coffee at the Resource Center the following Monday.
B is temporarily housed and is working toward completing a degree in creative writing at NHTI. He hopes that in sharing his experience of homelessness through his writing, he can better help the community understand what homelessness is truly like, and also be a role model to others experiencing homelessness that there is hope and a path out.
